Fein and Schneider say email is just like a phone call if it leads to a date. For one thing, it's very easy to be seduced by the informality of email or instant messaging.Remember the scene in Bridget Jones' Diary when Bridget (Rene Zellweger) gets lured into sexually charged email banter initiated by her boss (Hugh Grant)?Online dating, in my experience, is a lot of work for little reward.Yes, I’ve heard everyone’s success stories of meeting their Prince Charmings, but over the seven years I spent dipping in and out of the pools of Match, OKCupid, and Nerve, all I found were frogs (not to mention a few hairy toads). There’s intense pressure to come up with something individual that will also maintain a little privacy.
The six months I spent online were fascinating, fun, and frustrating.
I think people are hoping for a “meet cute” story, something Woody Allen or Nora Ephron would have cooked up, with a dash of the Food Network thrown in.
But when I tell them the truth—and I always tell the truth about it—this mix of surprise and disappointment crosses their faces, right before they blurt out: “Really? There’s no sense of shame or failure on our part, no completely fabricated story about how we got together.
When I arrived at the beer garden where we’d agreed to meet, not only did he look like his photo, but he kissed me on the cheek.
We saddled up to the bar and he excused himself to make a phone call. Online dating is a full-time job, and eventually, it stopped making sense to me to turn down dinner and party invitations from friends because I had to go home and troll for dudes online.