Not that it’s going to negate sad feelings, but I personally find that the less things are laid out, the more likely I am to be dangerously optimistic because romance and new relationship energy always has the impact of making me want to hold on when I shouldn’hierarchies I’m referencing are not about primary/secondary relationships — they’re about the value sex brings to relationships and how we value sex-based relationships well over other forms of relationships.My personal experience with non-monogamy is that it’s allowed me to really radically re-think what relationships mean and how I value them.ierarchies are seen as an inherently negative thing within many polyamorous subcultures, but very myopically.There’s a focus on having a primary/secondary structure as always problematic but I actually find that there’s a hierarchy that’s not really spoken about — and that’s the the role and value sex has in relationships. You already know what you're doing six weeks from now at PM, so anyone else needs try to nail an exact date down here. None of this, "let's wait around literally all day and possibly touch base maybe" bullshit.Some communities are more heterocentric and transphobic than others, so it can really vary depending on where you are.All I can say is that in my experience, primarily it feels like, to put it bluntly, if someone can’t bone me at their convenience, then it’s not worth investing any energy into me.
Endless songs and films are written about breaking up with a significant other, about being single, about not having someone to come home to — and it’s a sharp contrast to the amount of material written about losing a close friend.
I quite often don’t feel like, unless I’m dating another asexual, it’s even possible to negotiate a relationship that doesn’t involve sex.nstead of redefining a relationship in terms of just how much it means to us, relationships are redefined to mean that any and all can include sex or romantic actions.
And while I’m not saying that’s inherently bad either, the fact that it doesn’t go the opposite way is worth pointing out.
Within a Eurocentric white heterocentrist culture, we’re taught to value romantic relationships above friendships.
There’s a life plan that involves being born, growing up, finding a partner, settling down with that partner, having children, those children growing old, and then living with your partner until you die and that being a marker of ‘success’.